Today, my wife and I broached the topic of our children having too many toys. Yes, they are very blessed by their grandparents and by some of our friends who have given them some fabulous, really eye-catching toys. We too, give many toys. Even birthday parties are never a simple affair. We always have a friend to make a 3D cake for us, although it is at a friendship price. So, we never thought much about it.
However, recently, I had friends that recently posted about how they wanted to give their children only simple things, to teach them “less is more”. In their own words, “no fancy school celebrations, elaborate gifts (just a book) or customised cakes. Because… This is how we want our kids to grow up, knowing our family culture is ‘just like that’. Because we aim to put God first in our hearts and our family second. Because we are thankful and not want-ful. Because birthdays are not about us, but about celebrating God’s love and blessings in our lives for each passing year.”
It is so easy to script out parenting ourselves. We always wish the Bible had a specific script for everything from breastfeeding, disciplining, developing your child holistically and transferring the faith. Yet, there is little guidance out there. And often the principles are subject to significant variance in interpretation. What the bible gives us are stories of a lot of complicated families, each with their own context, and without the internet age and modern day metropolitan issues.
Through this thought process, I was quickly reminded that I wasn’t sure that “less was more”. How could I explain that to the kid? No kid could really identify with that. I could teach them everything they have was a blessing from God. But it is also not so straightforward to convince a child what is material wealth and what are eternal blessings.
Everything could be a blessing, in God’s eyes.
At that moment, I also thought about some of our less well-off friends, of how because they had less, their thirst for more was more pronounced than ever. I knew someone whose kids had so many toys, yet they seem to turn out so well. I have seen kids with so little, and they have so many troubles in life.
I went on to tell my wife how it was probably more important to put relationship at the centre. Perhaps this argument about material wealth was just peripheral. Let's not give it the attention it doesn't deserve. Since then, my approach was to let my children know that relationship is the most important. To deliberately be less conscious and put less emphasis on material wealth. This means deliberately not talking about it, but rather refocusing and channeling the attention to the eternal blessings. In other words, focus on the important things, and leave the peripheral on the periphery.
So Philippians 4 reminded me of the crux of our faith when it comes to peripheral issues such as this.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard you hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
Or, in my own words, have faith in God. Material wealth is not the crux. Our attitudes toward it will change as we know God. It is not that we have to control material wealth to know God.
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