The giver of grace suffers the greatest burden of sin.
Nobody really knows about my life for a while now.
I've kept the details of it and buried it deep.
I tried to hide it from everyone around me.
Yet to only come face to face with my failures and the hurt it has caused people dearest to me. I don't have any answers or any excuses. I just know I wasn't strong enough to do the right things in the right moments. And I'm sorry.
I don't have anything to say except I chose to fail in everyone's eyes. And I'm sorry.
I asked God through it all and came face to face with my humanity. And I'm sorry.
I asked God, why?
He said "Trust Him", "Try". I did. I tried. I just wasn't enough.
I couldn't do it, and I let everyone down and hurt them deeply.
I feel I'm left with nothing sometimes. I even betrayed my own identity.
Nothing means I let go and let God. Nothing means He can recreate me as He sees fit.
From God extends His grace, and I pray His grace extends to those I hurt. I am taking grace now. I want to give it back but I don't have anything worth giving at the moment. I'm just sorry for the pain. Just so sorry.
I don't know where this journey is going to take me.
I always wished it would end soon.
It's not the end, I know, but many a time, I wish it was.
It's better to die trying than to fail sometimes.
Grace is a painful path to take. I'm sorry for making you take it.
I didn't want to take it myself, that's why I failed you.
I asked God to help me, but he still let me fail. I don't know why.
I just pray His plan is fulfilled in my iniquities.
Still, I chose to fail.
May God have mercy on me and my soul.
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