Repentance

What is true repentance if the sorry is not meant for those whom it should be for?

Many are repentant, but to whom?

To those beneath us, how many sorries are out of pity.

To those above us, how many sorries are out of fear.

To those alongside us, how many sorries are out of respect.

My pastor said it right.

Which relationship are we trying to uphold when we say sorry?

I have done many things wrong in my life.

I know.

In many instances, I have never forgotten.

From the times when I was young, and not aware of what was right and wrong, or how serious the sin was or what consequences it would have.

To the times right now, when I'm aware of the failures but battling my own identity and deciphering the world as well as the word of God.

Am I repentant. Yes. I am.

However, I feel I've lost myself in the process.

I'm submitting, to many things and not myself.

I know God said, into the wilderness I will go.

Not my own choice, but if his choice.

And surely, I knew I would fail because I was a fish in the forest

Gasping for air and failing at swimming in the world.

And in the depths of the forest I will find my darkest shack.

Our lives will decompose one day.

And our souls lifted up.

The God of creation does not call us to creation care.

It calls us to give up our free will to him.

And become part of his creation and repent of our want to be a God whether above, beneath or alongside Him.

And in doing so, become part of his creation rather than own or caretaker his creation.

Because through Him, he's the gardener. And like cockroaches, woodlice, termites to the greatest predators, we have our part to play. To keep the world in balance and in life. We are all caretakers in our own right. Even if sometimes we have to clean up the scum of the earth or snatch the evil from the world.

Isn't that then true repentance to the right one? To live His future for yourself, and not our own.

Sadly, Red does not cover all the black in this world.