The reality of our perspectives is that we see our own lives as the truth.
For a while now, I cry everyday, but never showing that weakness to the world.
My heart is burdened, and joy is deep.
What people see of me, my smiles, my ability is just but a facade.
And even when I present the matters of my heart or the knowledge of my mind, they are coloured in the eyes and noisy in the ears of those who see and hear them.
There are many images of Christ in our lives. Buddha presents part of it, so too Guanyin and even more so modern day legacies left behind by Nelson Mendela, Martin Luther King and Mohamed Gandhi. The Dalai Lama points to the language of Xhosa as the language of heaven, based on the tracing of the roots of humanity back to Africa yet we create new tongues and new interpretations every single day.
Indeed, what are we looking for in our lives?
Everyday as I ponder my existence and my state of mind, I look at those around me and I also ponder theirs. I end up praying to ponder His thoughts. I muddle and muddy myself in the webs of truths and lies. I make decisions that are filled with regret but also full of success. Where does all this take me?
Back to the pleasant but hurting memories of the past. Remembering the broken relationships and new friendships of the shallow. Growing in the imbalance of our world but seeking the internal balance that constrains us.
I've spent years in reflection. I've meditated to calm the mind, prayed for divine intervention, cried for mercy and wrestled for control.
And still I find myself in an open palm.
I dreamt of the hand of God's power
I saw the touch of the angel
We see the clenched fist of war
The days will pass me by faster than I can pass the time in my life.
Is this where you want me to be God?
In silent and open reflection for the rest of my life.
Not an ounce of action or a tinge of success.
But simply to sit in the middle of your open palm.
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