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Writer's pictureMatthias Ong

Somehow Just Different

We like to think

  • We came from the same genes and share the same blood

  • We grew up together

  • We attended the same school

  • We have similar friends

  • We have the same hobbies

  • We have similar cultures

  • We have the same faith


And in some ways we should be quite the same

But somehow we are just different


From everything from how fast our toenails grow

To the different profiles of our bodies

The way we talk

Or just the way we sigh or cry


And yet, many people would tell you

Humans crave for connections

And through familiarity, comes camaraderie

And birds of a feather flock together


Even though, finally, we still discover our differences

Which pull us apart

Some of us cling on, but sometimes it's just too stark

And the more we find our identities, the more we respond with differentiation

Just like different yakitori sticks

Or different choices we make in a llaollao cup of sanum


Sometimes I ask myself, what exactly are we searching for in life

And even my own father, as much as sometimes I want to be like him, I also don't want to be like him.

And even as I want to share his 'smart' genes, I could never identify with his extraversion

And my mum, smarter than people make her out to be, but someone I identify more, until society finds fault with her, and then I naturally also try to distance my shared traits


I could say.

How mysterious life is!

Or lament.

Complicated.


With our faiths, it's also no different.

We reject our Gods when it's convenient.

And we applaud them just because of the power ascribed to them

Even if sometimes they have none.


Almost 40 years of my life later

Some people are pretty much alone

Some are surrounded by friends

Some like me are sitting watching the clouds and all these people pass me by


I know myself better now.

But even if I'm not proud of myself.

Maybe there's a little bit I can be thankful for

That I'm just a little bit different

And even if I share the sins of the world

Hopefully that little difference is just enough

For my kids to carry with them to heaven


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