If I die

If I die tonight.

Tell my kids my last words are that I love them very much. I will miss them forever. And I pray they will lead a better life than mine.

I ask God to give them the strength to carry on, supporting each other in life. And know that I'm sorry because I always wanted the best life for them, and to take care of them for as long as I could, to pave the way for them in their journey of life. There are many things I've not done well, and much to regret. But the hardest is letting go of them earlier than I expected, for them to face the difficult realities of the world.

My life has been for them, and I hope they will always carry and know that in their hearts. I'm sorry my heart wasn't strong enough, but if God wills it and grants His mercy, let me heart live on so it can continue to care and love them - cos that's all I want to do on the last day of my life. If I don't see them before I go, just know my heart was broken when it died. And I will miss them forever.

Still trusting God, even if I die tonight.