I know

• 

I know.

After a hearty, slightly over exorbitant meal, I know.

We had another overly priced, costly dessert, I know.

Just 3 guys, pretty imperfect guys, I know.

Why the church can't accept us fully, probably, I know.

Talking, a bit loudly so thay neighbouring tables could hear us, I know.

Sounding like we needed some attention, I know.

Conversing about the past again, I know.

About our mistakes and successes, I know.

Typical. I know.

Till we struck a chord, on a seemingly forgettable experience, where in the days of my youth, when it felt like we knew so many things after decades of education, when we knew what was right from years of church, and yet did so wrong.

I thought I knew then.

We thought we know ourselves now.

And we are convinced how much we know about others.

We don't.

We don't know.

We don't realise.

How far we walked wrong.

What we did to the next person.

How much the problems came from within.

And what we didn't really believe.

We forgot to forgive when we got hurt.

We forgot we hurt others when we feel hurt ourselves.

We forgot who threw the first blow when we are busy defending.

We forgot forgiveness isn't easy, even if it is easy for the other person.

We forget the imbalance of powers and how it's easy to watch the weaker side lose.

We forget the objectivity in our subjectivity.

We forget the good things in the bad.

We forgot our imperfections in chasing perfection.

We forgot God was in control and wanted control for ourselves.

A & E, I hope you don't forget. And even if you do, forgive. And even when you can't forgive, don't forgo.

Sorry. I wish I was better. I wish I knew better.